Parashat Ki Tetze – 2016

1:19:31 This only works when the listener has an admiration for the speaker. So a good person that is bent on good and admires the truth that a speaker brings will be influenced by that speaker towards the good, but when a wicked speaker speaks, the good person will be immune from his influence because he or she does not admire the wicked speaker. In the same way, a bad person that is bent on evil will have a similar wicked admiration towards a wicked speaker and what he/she says, and will be influenced by him or her towards evil. Admiration between people works like the electromagnetic force in nature and can push people towards directions. The greater the polarization of the charges, the stronger the force (admiration) and the harder is the push.

If everyone would read the Torah or listen to general speeches and by his or her own skills get all the necessary to do what is written, Hashem would not need to send Ravs and prophets to continuously preach and tell stuff to people. Instead, Hashem sends messangers with personal messages and encouragements to people to move them.

I really hope one day Hashem sends around me one or two good persons that I admire to push me towards the good, without calling me a Jew, a Sionist, a heretic or a nazi and say that the only way is to repent and pray to Jesus. Since I was born a goy, this is the best good speeches I get from my community, which, unfortunately do not work, due to the very low admiration factor from my side. Unfortunately I am also not able to increase my admiration artificially so as to take all advices to heart. Because of this admiration factor I am so to speak stuck in the middle of nowhere, no man’s land, like a desert around me and I think: how did I get here?
Rabbi Mizrachi, do you know from all your studies, was I born like this to end up in a desert or did I become like this myself? Was I born one who was destined to like and admire Jews, and so to be rejected just like one, or did I make myself one? I do not remember I ever made a positive choice to be a heretic or isolated or rejected and feel everywhere like an intruder, like a foreigner that is not wanted.
I am not good enough to know the way out from this situation, I did not even know how I get in while I walked the way, how can I know the way out? I hope Hashem helps me out, I have only Him to help me.
Do you know Rabbi Mizrachi, that my father is an admirer of Hitler. My elder sister is an antisemite like my father and to make everything worse she married a communist atheist that also despises Jews, but from the opposite side of the spectrum. I hope Hashem helps me and gives me another kind of family that is more similar to what I value, admire and define as good.